A Ramble

What is a Friend?

Lately the topic of friendship has come up frequently at my house. Below are some of the conclusions I have come to.

I often find the question “What is a friend?” surfacing in my mind.

First off, a friend isn’t perfect. People just aren’t (perfect, I mean). And besides, I think trying to live up to a perfect friend would be discouraging.

I’ve been told that my expectations of a friend are too high and that I should lower them to accommodate people. Just because my expectations are high doesn’t mean I will dump you for not being flawless. I’m not faultless myself.

What I expect in a friend is loyalty and honesty. I expect someone who won’t stab me in the back when someone “cooler” comes along. I expect someone who won’t betray me to benefit themselves.  I expect someone who won’t kick when I’m down or freeze me out.  I expect someone who will stick for me and not join the bullies. I expect someone who does me a favor without expecting anything in return. Someone who will help me when I’m struggling with life and is not just there for the good times. I expect someone who will respect and love me despite my issues.

That’s the friend I try to be.

I don’t see how that is too much to expect from someone who wants to call me their friend. If you don’t have any standards for relationships in your life you’ll settle for any self-serving, bottom-feeder what wants to prey on you, emotionally and/or physically. Without standards you devalue yourself. You’re allowing yourself to be a victim or, as my mom likes to put it, a doormat.  You are made in the image of God so I am positive you’re worth more than a doormat.

As humans we feel the need to be valued and validated by other humans. We try so hard to impress and “fit in with the crowd” but we are usually left unsatisfied and hurt.

The most constant friend I’ve ever had is Christ. I talk to Him every night before bed. Sometimes I just talk about my day, sometimes I pray for other people, sometimes I pray for myself, sometimes I listen and sometimes I just marvel at His extreme multi-tasking.  He is always, always there. So, if you are desperate for a true friend right now, He is there for you.

Also, God needs to be the center of your friendships.



TO BE CONTINUED.